According to my calculations, you still owe me 2 lap dances, 4 bjs, and an eternity of fetish sex. take off the jogging pants, bitch!

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By shniffty • 22 months ago • Embed • Permalink • Source • Clear

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According to my calculations, you still owe me 2 lap dances, 4 bjs, and an eternity of fetish sex. take off the jogging pants, bitch! .
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Dude: oh my gawd, mmmmmmmmmm, im so horny, mmmmmmmm ▼
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"Did she step on my precious TEXAS INSTRUMENT? Its ok, I will protect you" ▼
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And so Andy goes with math, the less complex of the two. ▼
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HOLD ON. CALCULATING CHANCES OF SUCCESS. ▼
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Once again, Martin had tricked his math tutor into playing "Strip Calculus" ▼
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The G spot is not a key on your calculator Tim. ▼
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Watch this! if I punch in 58008 and you turn it upside down, it spells Boobs! ▼
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Not now, bitch. SCIENCE! ▼
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Don't worry, I won't let her touch you. ▼
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FUCK OFF BITCH I'M DOING SCIENCE ▼
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GTFO bitch, I'm doing MATH ▼
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Wait, that's not what you meant by "Integrating your natural log" ? ▼
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I don't care if the batteries in your vibrator are dead your not getting mine .... ▼
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NOT NOW BITCH I'M ON THE CALCULATOR ▼
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Calculingus ▼
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Bill gates: college years ▼
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Its so cold in here, can i have my sweater back ▼
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Meanwhile, in the engineering dorm ▼
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Just a sec. I'm figuring up the tip. ▼
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I don't care if you're reading 50 Shades of Grey, you can't have my batteries. ▼
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One second, i know this has a vibrate button somewhere... ▼
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I'm sorry babe I just can't do that to her. We've been together since the seventh grade. ▼
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PLEASE MARTIN, just unlock the door and let me go and I promise I won't call the cops! ▼
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Bitch i got math homework. ▼
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Â€œif my calculations are correct... I'm getting laid tonight.â€ ▼
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Wait if i press 8008 it looks like boob ▼
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Oh thank God your here hun, could you run to the store and get me some batteries? ▼
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"What are the odds of me getting laid right now?" ▼
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ENGINEER ▼
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"baby look at me..." Honey I told you, you get loven Mondays, Wedendays, and fridays, right not its my snuggle buttons time..." ▼
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My calculator will protect MY VIRGINITY ▼
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''Type in 58008, now turn it upside down, now look at me........ TA DA!!!'' ▼
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Calculate the circumfrence of my boobs quick ▼
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So if we minus our clothes and divide your legs maybe we'll multiply! ▼
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Chill, I'm busy ▼
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Mmmmm, nothing better than calculingus! ▼
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R u even listenin ▼
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Hey big boy, could I play with your western instrument? ▼
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Hey! Young and willing here, so quit kissing your calculator and kiss me ▼
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I'm calculating the chances to get that superglue off you ▼
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I said, "I needed to solve my pi (Ï€) problems."! Get your mind outta the gutter! ▼
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The new Texas instruments scientific calculator prototype B, virgin for life! ▼
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Pleeeeeeease Michael, Just pretend I'm not your sister for just 10 minutes PLEEEEEEEEEAASE!!!! ▼
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No honey, I said I need some TIPS for using the calculator! ▼
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Oh math, only you understand me ▼
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GTFO BITCH! I'm calculating... ▼
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"You still have to pay me ya know, even if all you did was play with your thingy ma bob! ▼
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Hello? Where is my money? ▼
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Geeks ▼
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Girls this hot should be under license... ▼
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0
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You play with your calculator more than you play with me ▼
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Avril, could you go now, please? I have a trigonometry test next week that I have to study for. ▼
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No matter how much you add, subtract, multiply or divide it, having sex with your sister is always wrong; just like dividing by zero. ▼
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Priorites. You're doing it wrong! ▼
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DUDE!!!!!! I'm naked!!!! ▼
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Please go away I like men......... ▼
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Why the hell does my calculator smell like butthole. JENNY!! Yes master? ▼
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GTFO BITCH IM DOIN MATH ▼
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Hey, I'm busy. Cock ya later. ▼
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Before or after?....... ▼
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Guy: Seriously, who puts superglue on their boobs? ▼
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What has that calculator got that I haven't?! ▼
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"Gerald, you forgot to calculate the matrix again. And remember, you have to go down to get to PI." ▼
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This isn't what I meant when I asked you if you wanted some pie(Ï€)! ▼
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"Is now a good time to tell her I'm really a robot?" ▼
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I love my calculator, stay away from us ▼
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If it's 50 bucks a pop, twice a day, 7 days a week....the tip would come to....UMM..... ▼
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I don't need you, I can type 58008 and turn the calculator upside, down.. ▼
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Ur really choosing the calculator over me?!?!?!?! ▼
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Well we have a gay and a horny college girl. ▼
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HEY I REALLY DID SAVE15% ON MY CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO ▼
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Really??? REALLY?????? ▼
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Look i can write boobies on the calculator ▼
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Its ok calculator, mean old female wont bother us anymoore ▼
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For hour $99, then for a day.................... ▼
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"Dear! Go away, I'm busy!" ▼
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A bad time to be caught mathturbating ▼
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"I don't know what's wrong.I was fine when I thought you were my sister.YOUR MY SISTER!!!!" ▼
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Priorities. ▼
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80085 ▼
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Wait, Wait... First let me tweet the Science club and Chess club about ur chest. ▼
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Can your Calculator moan like this Tim? ▼
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Hey, Andy can you uuhhmmmm..... not tell mom about this?! ▼
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I'll do ANYTHING if you just let ME try it once ▼
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Chad had rather play with his graphic calculator that his wife. ▼
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Regis one is for slapping me, this is for kissing me ▼
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Math. Not even once. ▼
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"I told you not to drink and derive Tim." ▼
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I showed you mine, now erase that off the phone and show me yours. ▼
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The purpose of the calculator is to prevent him from looking. ▼
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HYPNOCALCULATOR SAYS DONT LOOK BEHIND. ▼
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Hold out ... wait, i am going to practtice my sexy make out moves with the calculator before on you. Since you both have a vibrator ▼
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I hear next years model come with both holes. ▼
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*Turn around* Surprise! Threesome time ▼
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Save me calculator! ▼
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But sir, you called for the "Special" room service. ▼
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I trade a little ass for that fancy garage door opens of yours , Willard . ▼
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Your going to have to guess, this calculator doesn't have a converter to inches ▼
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And not a single fuck was given ▼
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Why is he tapping that, when he could be tapping that on the right? ▼
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GTFO I'm doing calculus. ▼
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The solid black blouse is in the hamper. It got polka dots on it somehow. ▼
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CALC or GTFO ▼
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Nerd! ▼
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I didn't know this was going to be a threesome... ▼
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Homeo and Juliet ▼
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''I'LL TRADE YOU TWO TITS IF YOU LET ME BORROW YOUR CALCULATOR TO BALANCE MY FREAKIN' CHECKBOOK!!! ▼
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UM NOW THAT YOU STOLE MY SHIRT AND PHONE CAN I GO HOME NOW ▼
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My calculator loves me, YOU FILTHY WHORE NIGGER CUNT SWAGGER GARBAGE ASS PIECE OF MEXICAN JAILBAIT! ▼
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Sweet sweet ti83, you are my only love ▼
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Are you going to do my homework or what? ▼
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All you ever do is touch your calculator, it is like I am an invisible number or something. ▼
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I only have two buttons, I am easy enough for you. ▼
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Sorry, sweetie, I need to pay more attention to making a mathematical model to save our big ball, mother Earth, from a man-made catastrophe than to your balls ▼
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Calculator you slut ▼
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Hey is barbs! ▼
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SCIENCE!! ▼
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Don't be shy ▼
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Now meet modern Saudi family: 1st and beloved wife: TI-84 Plus, she shares with you the most special and challenging moments of you life, 2nd wife Fatima: cleaning, cooking, laundry... ▼
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My Ti 89 is so sexy I could just.... are you cold?! ▼
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Honey..what's the size.. ▼
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Lick it and stick it! ▼
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Love: You make the calculations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ▼
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But you liked the other guys breasts so, I...thought.. ▼
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FOREVER ALONE! ▼
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Apparently he'd rather spell "BOOBS" on his calculator than play with his girlfriends'. ▼
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Look Tom, it's not really THAT small. I said lets get a ruler to measure it. Not a calculator. ▼
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"I told you today was a bad day!" ▼
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You know how I know your gay? ▼
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GTFO I am hugging it. ▼
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He's licking the wrong thing. ▼
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Ntgj ▼
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I'll show you my boobs if you let me have the calculator. Not enough. Show me more. ▼
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HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO CALCULATE THAT WE HAVE NOT HAD SEX YET? ▼
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Yes, I know I said come over for to tutor me. Its called a euphemism. ▼
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It was at that time that Jeffory embraced his girlfriend's computng fetish, just to get her in the sack. ▼
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Ok, so your magic machine made my shirt disappear... can it make you straight?? ▼
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"Darling, I think you should put your glasses back on . . ." ▼
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I'm GAY!!!!! ▼
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No I meant lick THESE... not your calculator! ▼
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8008135 ▼
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U r doing it wrong. ▼
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GIMME BACK MY CLOTHES NERD ▼
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Yeah but I know how to push these buttons. ▼
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Come on Rainman, You can even touch them, see, I do ▼
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Alright, just let me tape the calculator to your face and we'll do it. ▼
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At least my calculator doesn't care if i cry after i upload RAM! ▼
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LOL, OK. I'm coming. Just one more word problem. ▼
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" how we going to watch a porno on this ? i can hardly see the screen ! " ▼
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YESSSS !!! a universal remote...just what I've always wanted... ▼
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Photoshop makes all my dreams come true.. ▼
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At least the calculator doesn't talk back! ▼
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Faggot and Juliet ▼
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Mmmmm... I can taste your ass juices on the keys. ▼
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The only case of aids I need is from this calculator, but thank you for the offer sis. ▼
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Tits of GTFO! ▼
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Stoppp itttt, I've already forgotten the formula for finding the volume of a polygon. ▼
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Some mental maths in the right moment will make you last longer in bed. But, please, don't cheat. ▼
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Gay roommates are really the best. We get to share a room, and I don't even have to leave when I change. ▼
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You are taking study support a little too serious, Eugene ▼
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"CHARLE, OSCAR, BRAVO...CHEERS LADS IM FINALY GOING TO LOSE MY VIRGINATY ...OVER " ▼
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It doesnt laugh. if i finnish too soon. ▼
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So what if I'm ugly and have microscopic tits... fuck me! ▼
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Oh My god press the F6 key again Darling ▼
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Come on Tim, I'll show you my boobs if you just stop making love to the calculator. ▼
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Suck my boobs, not the calculator ▼
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Emo... If you see one, you will know it. ▼
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Girl: Look At My BOOBS NOW! Boy: DO YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO MAKE TO LOVE TO THIS CALCULATOR, BITCH? Girl: FUCK THIS I'M LEAVING YOU! Boy: I DO NOT CARE YOU OR YOUR BOOBS! Calculator: HAHA. I GET ALL THE BOYS TONIGHT. ▼
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"For the last time, pay more attention to me or you're going to be BOOBLESS for good!" ▼
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The chick must be invisible to him or he is pure GAY ▼
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I WANNA FUCK HER BRAINS OuT! ▼

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