Jenkins we need to meet the deadline

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By tymir hilliard • 23 months ago • Embed • Permalink • Source • Clear

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Jenkins we need to meet the deadline .
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Teacher: here you tell your mom what you did. kid: no mom i didnt say that mom no you dont understand no mom you dont have to come to the school" ▼
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The worst time to receive a congratulatory big money prize winning call ▼
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"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for a ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I DO have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills for that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my girl go now, that'll be the end of it. But if you don't, I will look for you. I WILL find you. And I will kill you." "Good luck"... ▼
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I don't know how much longer this is going to last ... I've been sucking on those beautiful tits 6 months longer than normal .... ▼
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No, she's upstairs banging the old man. ▼
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Hey baby, guess what in wearing right now... ▼
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I hope she gets home soon this loaded diaper is killing me. ▼
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"Yeah. Yeah. You heard me. Dump the stock before it hit $21, or else i'm gonna come down there and eat your lunch for you." ▼
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No grandma .... first you have to defray the hard drive .... ▼
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"Look, Frank. I don't want to be a jerk about this, but I can see from here your car is parked eight inches over my property. If you don't move it...well, I'm gonna have you clamped. Sorry, buddy." ▼
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"Yeah, yeah 50 kilos for sure. Straight from Columbia" ▼
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A diaper, what are you wearin? ▼
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Babe, I swear she is just a friend. ▼
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Yeah, i did the bedroom in black, and the hallway in orange and magenta. Yeah it's really lookin great. Mom's gonna love it. ▼
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Listen Babe, I'm gonna be a little late... ▼
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No bitch..You better make it rain Barney CDs and have them here by 11 ▼
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I got 99 problems... ▼
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"The doctors think it's cooties. You should get checked- just incase." ▼
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Listen Babe, it was one glass of milk, I swear she left right after naptime ▼
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Honey, I'm busy right now, I'm with a client, I told you, don't ever call me when I'm with a client..... ▼
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So ellen i got those tests back and you might want to get checked out, the doc said it's not diaper rash after all.... ▼
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*sigh* Look man, I've got fifteen hundred binkies just sitting in a storage unit in New Brunswick and I need to know I have a buyer I can trust. Now, if you're not that guy, believe you me, I'll find someone who I know can move my product! You think YOU'RE doing ME a favor, here? I've connections that would make your mama's nipples harder than chinese calculus! There's a new Vietnamese kid in daycare, for example...only 8 months old, but real fuckin' sharp, ya know what I mean? So when I say I can find another buyer, you better believe I'll hang you out to dry without losin' a wink's sleep over it!! ▼
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Anne... I've already spoken with my attorney... I want a divorce. ▼
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Hurry home now mommy, I gotta a big load in my diaper and my ass is burning . ▼
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No, a cheese pizza with EXTRA cheese. Idiot. ▼
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Unemployed etrade baby ▼
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She said she'd "Call me Maybe" ▼
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Daddas boss? Ya daddys coming down the stairs now..........hee hee he just called you a fucking faggot...... ▼
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Insert Taken joke here. ▼
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Yeah dude, I know....Dude, i know... Well im just going to have to go down there and teach him a lesson ▼
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Yeah, well. You tell the people at the front desk the next time they direct me to the kiddie pool in front of my crew I'm gonna light someone up. ▼
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No, I said EXTRA pepperoni... ▼
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"Wait...I didn't say that...I wanted to short those options you imbecile...You know what, you're fired. ▼
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Have you rebooted? I'm not coming in if you haven't rebooted first! ▼
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Amazing...all this time I thought Stewie Griffin was a fictitious character! ▼
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Yeah.. Fillin' mah diaper. You? ▼
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'burble-lurble-moblu-gimgo-poo-poo ...uh-kay luv yoo bah-bye '... Ha, I fucking love wrong numbers! ▼
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Yeah, if you don't get that paperwork filed you're FIRED, buddy. ▼
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Yeah, Gerber, do you guys deliver? ▼
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Hi mom, I don't know how to say this but I drank too much and shit myself. ▼
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Mum........ were out of milk..... uhhhhh i dont know what im going to do with you anymore ▼
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Hey babe, i saw that facebook post in those cute little snuggies... we should totally hook up sometime. ▼
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If you don't come over here by whenever I eat lunch your lollipop is done for! ▼
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Hey babe I was thinking you could come over today for.... a play date ▼
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Babe, I just can't do this shit anymore, my diaper is full. ▼
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"Yeah bitch I'll get back to you later...Hol up YOU LOSS MY WEED!!!" *swerve* BANG! BANG! BANG!" Now gotta go get my self nutha bitch and some fresh weed. " ▼
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' ..Tarquin isn't here right now. Can I take a message?' ▼
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' Take me off your list and don't call this number again, you curry munching bastard.' ▼
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Yea Tom?. Yea give me 35 Shares of Xerox, and 20 shares of Sony ▼
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I dont know who you are but belive me if you step into my house one more time i will kill you ▼
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Bitch stop tripping come through Moms sleep right now ▼
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"McDonalds? Yeah, do your Happy Meals come with Double Quarter Pounders?" ▼
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"Hello? Caption this? Cool..hey, I just wanted to let you know that ALL of the captions are pretty damn good; however, how the hell did you sneak a camera in my goddamn house without me noticin'?" ▼
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"Are you serious Dude,she even took the toilet paper?" ▼
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"No they don't know! Look just send it in the mail like you always do... what? Yea yea, they wont suspect a thing. Trust me, I know my way around this cute baby stuff." ▼
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Yeah... yeah... yeah, no... i want the leopard skin diapers this time. ▼
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Yeah, sweet heart, of course we can do the deal, haven't you seen my commercial's, I do online trading all the time! ▼
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That's right, hold the anchovies. They give me a rash. ▼
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Aww SHIT! ▼
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But Baby, I love you, I never meant to cheat on you with Sally. ▼
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Dude the party last night was off the chain! ▼
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Yeah baby, I'm stroking my cock. ▼
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Yes mum ill be home in abit, ive just gotta finish off having sex with some fit bird ▼
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Hello, Santa? Yea ,about that "Better watch out better not cry crap".. Not buyin it... ▼
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Kid: So yeah you have the waffles (drugs)? Callee: Yep there in the van outside ▼
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Yeah, ok, go on, ...wait....what ! .....why, you bitch i said he liked Charles Dickens not he likes to put his dick in Charles !! ▼
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Your mission...if you choose to except it.... ▼
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Look babe, it isn't that I don't love you I'm just not "In" love with you..... ▼
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LIKE A BOSS !!! ▼
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So whens my next diaper change ▼
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So thats who keeps calling me for booty calls....to far?..... or to sooon.... ▼
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Blue Huggies, And You? ▼
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. . . Yeah, two tenner bags and a Milky Bar.' ▼
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"Please come over, baby. I don't know if I can do this much longer." ▼
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Janice? Harry called. Yeah, he wants me to pay the hospital bill for his finger. ▼
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"Hey pops, just called to tell ya that I mowed the lawn, took out the trash, and fed Fido. Do you care if I have my allowance money so I can take out that babe Emma tonight?" ▼
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Sure my parents would be interested in Duct Cleaning ▼
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Levi 501 diapers. Lose yourself without losing your dignity ▼
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It looks like Mr. Pampers will need to be taken care of... ▼
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Yep, I got slobbering drunk off of similac, can you believe that shit?! ▼
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"now about that deaL..." ▼
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The doctor said it's Cooties.......I think you should get yourself checked. ▼
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Yeah...she took off mah diaper and it escalated from there... ▼
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Damnit, Jen. I thought you told me you were on the pill. My wife can't find out... Yep, we gots to get an abobo. ▼
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"What if we DON'T invite Aiden, Brayden, Caiden and Layden?" ▼
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Sell god dammit sellll!!!!! ▼
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I said, ya beginning to grate on my nerves. ▼
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A SMALL pizza.....that's right. No, I do not want to upgrade to a large. SMALL, damn it! ▼
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Oh hey uhmm...uh....Rachel, yea of course, god last night was wild right? I, I mean last friday was wild, last night was tuesday hehe. ▼
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Hello, Operator? I need an exit. ▼
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Could you please hold the line while i clear the shit ▼
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Hold On, I'm Trying To Get The F**K out of here! ▼
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Dammit, bones! I owe big lenny 50 large... ▼
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Baby: Is this Mr. Stork? Mr. Stork: Yes Baby: Dude, you got to fly your ass over here and get me away from this family Mr. Stork: What is your address? Baby: Soooo funny smart ass, like I can decipher that at this moment. ▼
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Aids? ...you're sure it's aids? ▼
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BULLSHIT! You can't catch head lice off a tolit seat ▼
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Yea im listen ▼
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"It's really good to hear your voice, saying my name, it sooooounds soooo sweeeeeet..." ▼
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Erm yeah id like to place an order... ▼
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Hello hello, baby you called I can't hear a thing. Sorry got no service in the club you say-say. Whatwhat are you saying are breaking up on me, sorry I can't hear you I'm just KINDA BUSY. KA KA KINDA BUSYYYYYYYYY ▼
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Call you back dude! This bitch got no diapers on! ▼
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Hello mom, i'm just looking out the window at the babysitter. yeah she thinks i'm asleep. what am i doing? Im looking out the window at her lying there naked in the garden. yeah, yes mom im horny. of course, yeah, ok, yeah of course i'll use one of dads extra small condoms. yeah, ok, alright. yes mom, yes i love you too. bye mom... ▼
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This is an automatic call. After the bip, please repeat the words: Electroanalytical Chemistry and own a 10 million dollars prize, right now! Biiiiiiip!! ▼
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I CANT TAKE THE PRESSURE ANYMORE!! ▼
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What glass ceiling? ▼
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Yeah hello,president?, yah we've got a serious problem in my diaper ▼
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Yes i can see u. did u catch that leopard all by urslef? ▼

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