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Robert Keith Stewart
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17 months ago
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<a href="http://www.captionthis.org/c/12312"><img src="http://www.captionthis.org/p/12459/12312.jpg"></a>
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-1
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Just making sure you weren't Tim Allen.
.
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0
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It looked like sausage, but it tasted like hand lotion!
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0
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It's locked and loaded!
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+
9
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"Yes, I know it's a bank. Now do as I say and take off your pants!"
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9
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"Don't stare at the damn thing for too long because I have a chatroom meeting in a half hour."
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7
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Yes that is very nice sir, but i was just going to tie my shoelace
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4
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And the new pope wastes no time getting down to business.
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4
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Just as we thought .... a concealed dead weapon ......
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3
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TSA: They'll touch your balls for free
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2
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Jon, you and I have been together for 3 years now...
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2
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Ok sir! now turn around and let me check inside your asshole...
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2
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"Oh, I don't work here."
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2
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Sorry sir, no small objects.
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2
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"Oh yep, the rug does match the curtains. You're free to go."
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2
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Sir, I would hardly call that a "weapon of mass destruction."
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1
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Welcome to San Francisco International Airport
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1
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All hail the king !!
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1
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EXTRA!! EXTRA!! Healthcare has gotten so bad, people must rely on airports.
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1
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Your name shall be Darth Vader!!!
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1
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So, will you marry me, yes or no?
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1
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I now dub thee, Sir CarrotTop McPeckerface!
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1
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Wanna get a closer look there Sherlock??!!
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1
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Suspicious package
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1
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If thats Doug Banatine then..... "I'm out"
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1
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And now for YOUR cavity search!
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1
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I love my job.
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1
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Yea I took this job just for this reason.
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1
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...and arise SIR Carl.
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1
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When I asked you to take off your trousers I assumed you had underwear...
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0
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Sorry sir, but that is not a weapon...
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0
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Congratulations!!!!!!!! You are the one millionth person scanned. You win a prize! A special prize.
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0
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I'M SORRY SIR, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO CHECK THAT. IT'S TOO SMALL AND MAY GET LOST IN THE OVERHEAD STORAGE COMPARTMENT.
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0
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Oh Mr Bobbit, sorry I see it is a Snapon Tool !
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0
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Yep, thats a penis!
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0
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After we finish I am still going to have to search you.
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0
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You soo lucky, i dont even have one of those.
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0
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I am sorry sir but this isn't what i meant when i asked you "any liquids"
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0
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What the fuck is that?!?
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0
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San Fransisco Marriage Proposal
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-1
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For a dollar? Hells yeah, suck away!
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-1
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Yep, everything's in order here...
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-1
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Yeah dad, that's herpes.
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-1
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Hold your position, I gotta go in the desk and grab the salad tongs.
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-1
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T.S.A. job doesnt suck, but i suck. thats why im here, for the benefits and days like this.
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-1
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You're lucky, sir. If your metal coco
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-1
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I don't know, maybe for $60.
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-1
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Quickly! i'm thirsty
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-1
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I said feet on the yellowing markings!!!
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-1
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No gun then? I guess you were just happy to see me.
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-1
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Man #1: I'm sorry sir but you aint getting on the plane with that Man#2: why whats wrong with it? Man#1: you could mug someone with it
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-1
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I see your hiding a dead weapon
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-1
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You want me to gargle your nuts first or do you just want me to work the fucking shaft?
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-1
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Actually sir, it looks a bit abnormal. I see a lot of these things.
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-1
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I just wanna declare my cockmeat sandwich before my flight.
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-1
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Sir, I said what is your sock not jock.....
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-1
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Check this out buddy!!!
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-1
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Well... You could have mentioned you had a cock ring.
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-1
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Told you its a rod not a ring
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-1
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WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION FINALLY FOUND
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-2
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Start suckin!
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-2
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Drop em' All of em'
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-2
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Sir? Yes dude? Why are you kneeling? OMG ARE YOU ASKING ME TOO MARRY YOU?!?!? Just let me... Dang it pants fell.
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-2
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Nice package make them for men
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-2
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Okay, Mr. Government officer, do what you will. Rape me. Defile me. Probe me until your evil government assault on every right and basic human decency is satiated! Uh...Can I get a Ron Paultard assist on lane 2?
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-2
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The only way a ginger can get laid
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-2
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' .... Jesus, man, ....... what is that?' '...That's my penis.' '.... Ha ha, you call that a penis?'
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-2
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"Yes Sir, that is either a penis or a hairy cocktail weenie, not sure which. .mmm the only way to know for certain is a taste test, I love cocktail weenies but hate the after taste of penis,so i'll know"
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-2
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That's nice, mind if i suck on it a bit? Its not part of the security check, it just seems like the appropriate thing to do.
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-2
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Sir, I was looking for a penny not ur penis
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-3
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Thats it
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-3
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Well, off the top of my head I'd say it's the clap. But i'm not doctor, I'm a TSA worker.
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-3
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Well it looks like just a rash to me, maybe a little hydrocortizone cream, keep it dry, but then again I'm with the TSA.
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-3
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O.K. . . . now turn your head, and caugh.
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-3
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Well... anything for some meth.
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-4
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OK Drop'em!!!
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-4
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I have those same socks...
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-4
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You know what they say about guys with large feet!
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-6
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Give me that roll of dimes, you aren't using it right
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-7
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Oh yeah. Show me that thick cock. My ass hole is sooooo moist.
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-7
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"...and then i just tuck it back like this and that's how you make a mangina, now for the rest of the orientation you'll need some gunt cheese, a pair of plyers..."
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-7
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IMPRESSIVE!
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-12
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Ajd Sibirac sada lagano i nemoj da si strugo zubima! Jezikom i lagano da cuclas!
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-14
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Get down on your knees and open your mouth!
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-22
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I'm gonna fuck yer skull the same way I do all those nigger whores.
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